Your past experiences inform a great deal about your present and future. So many of your current experiences and perceptions can be attributed to your past.
Certain significant events may have impacted your mental health. Maybe you were lied to by someone you had confidence in. Perhaps you were convinced that someone cared for you, but they had a hidden agenda.
Unfortunately, these letdowns can weigh heavily on you. However, this is a part of the human experience, and this kind of disappointment is often inevitable. The people around us are not perfect; they may not meet our expectations and may let us down.
You may also let others down from time to time. Although you may find that you have been let down in the past, do not lose hope. You can and will trust again after experiencing past hurt.
What to Ask Yourself
Here are some questions you can ask yourself about past feelings of hurt:
• Did I have realistic expectations of the person who hurt me?
• Did I place this person on a pedestal?
• Would I have been able to provide what I was expecting from my loved ones?
• What is preventing me from loving or trusting again?
• Have I built up walls to genuine people because of this past hurt?
• Am I projecting the pain of the past onto the future?
• Am I potentially preventing myself from forming genuine connections because of this?
• What is my current relationship with myself?
• Is how I view myself and the past preventing me from forming genuine relationships?
• How long have I been processing this hurt?
• Do I feel ready to accept the prospect of new relationships?
Past hurt can feel very real, jarring, and painful. However, it is essential to remember that this is one experience in your life.
It does not have to control or dictate the rest of the forward motions of your life, nor does it need to serve as an indicator for the rest of your decisions.
Your hurt, pain, and disappointment hold validity. It matters and speaks to your experience. It does not speak to you as a person. Understand that you have the right to move forward and live a life beyond a painful experience.
Trying to Trust Again
Remember that past hurt does not define who you are or your relationships. Keep the following in mind:
Do Not Give Up on Yourself
You may find that you are becoming increasingly frustrated with yourself and your inability to trust someone again. It is crucial to be patient with yourself. Traumatic experiences can be daunting, and you may see a resemblance of that trauma in other areas of your life.
This is a normal response to past hurt. However, it is not an adequate response. Be patient – with space and time, you can and will learn to let your guard down and trust someone again.
Do not rush or force yourself to feel that it is unnatural. You want to form relationships again, but you also want these relationships to be natural and organic. A pseudo-friendship or relationship will only bring you more hurt and pain in the future.
Do Not Give Up on Others
Your new relationships are not with the person who hurt you in the past. Although it is essential to be cautious about reliving the same hurt, remember that each person has a unique set of experiences that they bring to the table.
Someone that you are skeptical about may bring something very beneficial to your life if you are willing to give them a chance. Emotional pain can genuinely impact you. Although your pain is valid, it is unfair to others to project the pain of your past onto them.
Once you let your guard down, you may find that your willingness to trust again will allow you to form meaningful friendships and relationships. You need other people to navigate this life.
Closing off potentials because of past hurt will only cause you more harm in the long run and deter your healing. It can be initially tempting to forgo trust and self-isolate. However, your recovery, wellness, and mental health cannot survive in isolation.
Trust Is Fragile
Part of why it is hard to trust again is because trust is so fragile. The moments you share with others can mean a lot to you, which can cause significant pain when those relationships end.
There is hope to love and trust again. At Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, your healing is a top priority. There will be pain and disappointment in life. Trust, however, can be renewed and rebuilt.
Your story does not have to end in a place of fragility or discontent. Your trust can be restored with patience and practice, allowing you to have meaningful relationships with others.
At Southern California Sunrise Recovery Center, we understand that navigating the challenges of past hurt may be daunting, but it is never something that you have to confront alone. Resources, community, and treatment programs will help you feel less isolated. If you find yourself in a place of solitude, desperation, or poor mental health, there is assistance for you.
Although it may be tempting to try to go it alone, understand that rebuilding trust in relationships is an issue faced by many struggling to manage their mental health. Your capability to rise through difficulty is within you. We can help you process your thoughts alongside a companion. You can be encouraged and affirmed while learning to trust others again. Our facility has a trained staff who are well versed in issues such as past hurt and trauma. There is hope; call (949) 284-7325.
